When I talk with couples about planning their wedding ceremony, we discuss a rage of important topics from the legal aspects of being married to the style of their ceremony and the components they would like included in their ceremony. There’s a range of things to consider when planning your wedding ceremony which many couples don’t realise until this point. In fact the ceremony probably has more detail & components than the reception celebration afterwards!
One of the first things that couples should think about is the length of the ceremony they would like, as this guides the components & timings. Sometimes the location or style of wedding ceremony play into this, for example if it’s an elopement the ceremony will be shorter. In general, I find the majority of people are naturally uncomfortable with being the centre of attention and public speaking and therefore they usually start off telling me they want a short ceremony with no readings. Once I explain the meaning of the ceremony and how they will feel on the day (and that it goes really quickly) I try and have them think about including special elements that are meaningful to them and their journey. This helps round out a thoughtful & meaningful ceremony amongst the standard vows and ring exchange.
Historically readings were taken from scripture but these days they really can be anything. They can take almost any form such as poems, song lyrics, excerpts from literature, excerpts from movies, motivational text, scripture, sincere words from friends, songs or live musical performances.
There’s a few good reasons why couples should consider including readings in their ceremony:
- Couples can express their feelings by selecting readings and readers that reflect their personality, life or journey to marriage
- To engage family & friends in the ceremony
- To break the ceremony into key sections i.e. introduction/about part, legal part, and fun part
- As readings take place it allows time for the couple and guests to relax and take in the moment
- It gives the couple an opportunity to enjoy the ceremony
How do you choose the reader and readings? A great ‘reader’ can help set the tone for the ceremony i.e. fun, serious, traditional, progressive etc. They can also reflect your relationship with them, as a couple, or shared experiences. Often couples choose close family members or friends, or someone who has a connection with both partners. The content or material for the reading should reflect you as a couple or sometimes there can be two readings focused on each partner separately, and they shouldn’t be too long in length.
Some of the best readings I have experienced as a Marriage Celebrant have been:
- Complimentary words penned and by close friends
- A nursery rhyme read in rounds by a group of close friends (think Dr Suess)
- An acoustic guitar piece sung by a family member
It’s such a joy to help plan ceremonies and see them come together at the wedding and create lasting intimate memories.
In the words of the famous George Eliot …..
“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?”
